No, it’s not in your head…
Dating has never been harder for guys.
And that’s not me talking, it’s the data.
According to sociologists at Stanford University and the University of New Mexico, nearly 40% of couples are now meeting online. Of that nearly 40%, a huge and growing number of interactions happen on dating apps.
Let’s zero in on the biggest dating app of all, Tinder.
The experiences that the average man and the average woman are having on Tinder are nothing short of night-and-day different.
According to a study conducted by Tinder on its own users, men swipe right (attempt to match with) 40% of women. Nearly half!
Now, guess what percent of men get a right swipe from women.
Got your answer?
It’s 7%.
In other words, women swipe left (reject) 93% of men on the dating apps.
If you thought those numbers were bad, wait until you see the actual “match” rate.
On Tinder, women match with 33% of all the men they swipe right on (to be honest, this feels low, but I imagine this average is pulled down by the least physically attractive women who have challenges getting matches).
And men? What percentage of matches do they get?
Just 2.5%.
In other words, for every 100 right swipes, men will match with less than three women!
(We won’t even bother discussing how many of those matches turn into back-and-forth conversations where the woman is making a real effort, let alone willing to agree to an actual in-person date.)
Overall, the Tinder study concluded that “the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men.”
This brutal statistic makes sense when we include the results of a different study conducted by the dating site, OKCupid. It found that the women on their dating site rated 80% of the men on its site as ugly.
Technically, the term used in measuring these men’s attractiveness was “below average,” but the takeaway is the same.
So, what’s the result of all this?
Well, a recent study from researchers at Indiana University found that nearly 1 in 3 U.S. men, ages 18 to 24, reported having zero sexual activity in the past year.
Not only is that a huge number, it’s a 63% explosion in the number of sexless men since a similar study was conducted back in 2000 to 2002.
Bottom line: The online modern dating world has become incredibly challenging for the average man.
But we started by saying that 40% of couples are meeting online today. That still leaves 60% of people who are meeting in real life.
What about those guys?
Even in “the real world,” many men are pulling back.
For some, it’s because their self-esteem has been injured from the dating apps.
One study of “swipe-based dating applications” (SBDA) reported “being a SBDA user was significantly associated with having psychological distress, and depression in the multivariable logistic regression models… Increased frequency of use and longer duration of use were both associated with greater psychological distress and depression.”
For other men, they’re concerned about being labeled “creepy” or “toxic” in the wake of the “toxic masculinity” narrative that has been pushed widely by mainstream culture in recent years.
A recent study by a psychologist named Mark Travers finds that 53% of single men report “fear of being seen as creepy has reduced their likelihood of interacting with women.”
And why shouldn’t they be concerned?
The same study found that nearly 82% of women said they experience creepy behavior from men.
Many guys find this incredibly frustrating since, from their perspective, the behavior that’s labeled “creepy” from an average guy is acceptable to women if the man is very physically attractive.
On that note, go to Google and watch an old Saturday Night Live skit with Tom Brady called “Sexual Harassment and You.” It illustrates this frustration perfectly.
Put it all together, and the average guy faces the most difficult environment for dating in modern history.
But…
That’s also a tremendous opportunity for you.
The Opportunity Embedded in a Challenging Dating Environment
Though many things about men and women, dating, and relationships have changed today, the core dynamics of attraction, masculinity and femininity, and desire haven’t changed.
The problem isn’t so much “out there” – as in, today’s dating world (messed up as it is). Rather, the problem is most guys today simply have never had a father, older brother, or an older friend teach them the core basics of male/female relating.
Instead, they’re getting a message from society that’s flat-out inaccurate and it's resulting in loads of confusion, behavior that women don't find attractive, and loneliness.
But this lack of understanding is your opportunity.
It’s a way to distinguish yourself from the masses of men who will remain in the dark about how women are wired and produces dating/relationship success.
When you understand the core principles of attraction and what women respond to (as opposed to what they say they want in a guy), it changes everything.
(As just one example, so many women say that want a nice, sweet, caring guy...but when given the choice between dating this sweet guy versus a proverbial "bad boy" who isn't half as nice, sweet, or caring, so many women respond more favorably to the bad boy. The reality is that, when it comes to attraction, women don't always act in ways that are consistent with what they say.)
Understanding what women truly respond to opens up a world of opportunity that 95% of men will never experience. This world boils down to one thing…
Having dating abundance.
Even better, achieving this isn’t based on gimmicks, tricks, or manipulation. Instead, it reflects one thing…
Your understanding of ironclad truths that have shaped male/female relationships for thousands of years.
Comentarios