You just approached her and she's charmed...
Congrats!
Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, this part is where the real challenge begins.
You could approach a woman simply by tripping into her, and voila, she’s opened. That’s not the really “hard” part.
The hard part comes after the opening. It’s how to have a conversation with her that leads to attraction.
So, here’s our game-plan…
We’re going to discuss what goes into this conversation from a big-picture perspective… then we’ll dive into those details… then we’ll circle back and talk about how our general blueprint changes slightly when you’re doing a daytime Direct Approach.
The Blueprint of Your Conversation
Too many guys don’t have any clue where they’re going when they begin talking with a woman. They just start “chatting.”
This is the wrong way to go.
You’ll get way better results with an overall plan.
So, here are the broad stages of your conversation and what, in general, each stage is about:
Stage 1:
- You’ve just met. Neither of you is sure about the other person, and you’re not sure what to talk about.
- You want to come off as confident, laid-back, and indifferent to the outcome. And while friendly to her, you want her to feel that you’re not 100% sold on her quite yet.
- Playful teasing is a big part of Stage 1.
- Conversation topics are not focused on “her.” Yes, you can ask her a few questions about herself, but you’re not really trying to get to know her with information questions yet.
- During Stage 1, you make it clear through little teases that you’re speaking to her as a potential romantic partner, not a friend.
- Stage 1 “ends,” so to speak, with you arriving at the broad idea of “Hmmm, you know, I wasn’t sure about you at first, but you’re actually rather fun (or rather interesting, or rather intriguing, whatever).” You might actually say some version of this. Other times, you may not say it, but that’s what your overall demeanor conveys.
Stage 2:
- You’re both feeling far more comfortable with each other in Stage 2.
- You’re still teasing her, and using a technique called “push/pull” that’s giving her the fun of feeling a variety of emotions.
- It’s now appropriate to ask more informational “get to know you” type questions of her.
- You’re going to “escalate” the conversation, meaning add an undercurrent of sexuality to it. Nothing “sleezy,” just a little spicy.
- There’s more of a real connection forming between you two, and you see signs of her attraction.
Stage 3:
- I’ll add “teasing” yet again, because it’s always a good idea to sprinkle this into your conversations. It helps keep things fun.
- After establishing a connection, you’re going to “flip the tables” a bit. Up to this point, you’ve largely pursued her (you approached her, after all). Now, you want to give her the space to approach you. Women are wired to chase, and they want to feel they’ve “won” a high-quality man (rather than the man fawning all over her, making it clear from the start that she can have him if she wants).
- So, in Stage 3, you will make the woman qualify herself to you. More details on this to come.
- At the end of Stage 3, she will have qualified herself to you, and your eventual takeaway to her (like before, sometimes you might state this, other times it’s just the vibe you’ll emit) is: “I wasn’t planning on making this type of connection with anyone tonight, but here we are. Isn’t life funny.”
- You’ll then “close” in whatever form is appropriate: getting her number, kissing her, leaving with her to go to a new venue, or if it’s during the daytime, going on an “instant date.”
Let’s dive into the details.
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