In this period after your first date, as well as through the early stages of dating in general, coming across as overly interested can be self-defeating.
It’d be great if we didn’t have to play games, but we do.
I’ll get more into the psychology of that in a moment. But for now, think back to times when you’ve been head-over-heals for a woman from the get-go.
If you made that interest apparent to her, how did it go?
How did she respond?
If she was like most women, it probably turned her off and you probably got ghosted or friend-zoned.
An important way to lessen the appearance that you’re totally into her is by being patient with your response-time to her texts and calls.
Too many guys respond either immediately, or within an hour.
This is self-defeating.
Earlier, we said that a woman reaches out to a guy when she’s attracted to him, and when she’s unclear as to where she stands with him. His ambiguity creates a tension inside her that she’s anxious to resolve by figuring out his real feelings.
Responding too quickly doesn’t evoke this tension of uncertainty inside her. You have to give her this.
So, here’s a loose blueprint of when to reply to a woman at the very beginning of dating her:
- If she texts you during the day, up through early-afternoon, wait until after roughly 6:00 - 7:00 to respond (you can wait until later in the evening too). After all, you’re busy out there pursuing your masculine purpose.
- If she calls or texts you from early afternoon through 6:00ish, wait until after 9:00 to respond, but only if it’s a Sunday through Wednesday. On Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, wait until the next day to respond (reason being, on a Thursday through Saturday, you should be out with friends or on dates…or at least be giving that impression).
- If she texts you any time after 7:00, wait until the next day to respond. Same reason as above applies.
Until you begin seeing her twice a week consistently and she's reaching out to you all the time, try to loosely follow this blueprint. You won't always be able to do it, so don't stress about it. The overall point is simply to avoid appearing too available.
So, if you text her back an hour after she texts you one Thursday night, don’t freak out and think you’ve screwed everything up. Just don’t make a habit of it.
In fact, being inconsistent with your text response times is a good tool. More on that later.
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