In a few hours, you’re meeting her for your first official date.
The initial question is “what do you have planned?”
A few things to keep in mind.
For a first date, don’t make it a day-date.
This also applies for the majority of your dates until you guys are exclusive.
Why?
Well, you’re interested in this woman romantically, right?
Then set up a date that enables romance to happen. If you’re taking her on a lunch date, both of you are probably going back to work afterword. Or if it’s a weekend, you probably have other plans that afternoon.
Either way, what’s a shut door. No romance can happen.
But if your date is going great, you don’t want bad logistics to end it.
So, design a date that enables whatever degree of physical intimacy is right for you guys. And this usually means a night-time date.
Second, time and chemistry permitting, include (at least) two different venues.
This can be helpful for a few reasons.
First, it can liven up the date. Sitting at one restaurant or bar for several hours isn’t necessarily bad, but it runs the risk of getting stale as the evening progresses. Doing something new keeps it fresh.
Second, getting up and going somewhere else gives you a chance to gauge her interest level via her body language.
Is she bumping into you as you walk?
Is her hand knocking into yours?
Does she grab your hand, or touch your arm?
If you put your hand on her lower back, does she lean into you?
Basically, is she entering your space?
If so, that’s great information to have because it points toward attraction. Recall the non-verbal indicators of her interest we talked about earlier.
So, have a couple destination options in mind.
I’ve found it’s better to choose destinations that elevate the energy level as the night continues.
This means something more laid-back for your first location.
Think about it – you guys are practically strangers. A mellower spot makes it easier to chat with her to get to know her. Use this time to focus on her and who she is, and increase the comfort level between you.
As the evening goes on and she’s more at ease, make the second destination somewhere with more energy.
Best case, it involves some kind of activity – whether that’s just a stroll through a busy retail area, dancing, a comedy show, billiards, or just a fun, rowdy bar with great people watching. Your call.
But think of it like this…
In the earlier part of your night, you’re sharing a conversation; in the later part, you’re sharing an experience.
Experiences tend to tap emotions easier than straight up conversations. And since women are driven by their emotions, this can help her connect to you. Remember, for a woman, boredom equals death.
Now, to be clear, you don’t want something that makes talking tough (like a loud concert or a trip to the theater). You need to be able to keep chatting.
But if you can introduce some activity, it will give you fresh “in the moment” conversation topics, and provide a shared “thing” you guys can bond over.
Don’t Overdo the Destination
How upscale is the place you’re taking her?
There’s not a right or wrong answer, but just keep in mind the practical reality of setting the bar too high.
If you take her to an expensive restaurant for dinner versus just grabbing a drink at a cool but inexpensive spot, that’s sending a different message.
You might be setting an expectation you don’t want to be held accountable to on every date.
So, here’s the way to tell if you’re overdoing it…
If your normal weekly routine would have you eating at that restaurant, great, go for it. Take her there and enjoy.
But if that type of place isn’t a regular part of your weekly eating habits, then don’t take her there on a first date.
If you don’t go to that spot regularly, that means this particular restaurant is a “special occasion” restaurant, not an everyday restaurant.
But you don’t know this woman yet, so she shouldn’t qualify for “special occasion” treatment.
That comes after you guys have clicked, and you’ve decided she’s worth it.
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